Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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