I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
