Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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