yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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