I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
