i permit you to call me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
