Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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