Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
