I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
