Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
