I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
