textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
