I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
