I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
