Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
