Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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