She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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