Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
