in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You can't just leave with hair like that
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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