Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
