fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
