I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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