I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
