i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
