May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
