Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
