I need help removing her.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
