Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
