The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
