i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
