i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
