Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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