I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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