Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
