I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
