Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
