Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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