Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
