I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
