Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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