you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
