No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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