Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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