Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
