don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
