Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
