You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
