i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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