great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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