i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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