he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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