Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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