if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
